Ingredients:

• A big ol’ bowl of dried pinto beans  
• Plenty of chilis—don’t hold back  
• A good guess of garlic, onion, and tomatoes  
• A splash of tomato juice and vinegar  
• Some ranch spices (if you don’t know ‘em, you might not need this recipe)  
• Beef broth, just like grandma used to make  

Now take all that, toss it out the window, and make yourself a real "Western" hat instead. Perfecto.